Subscribe

The narcissist's guide to social media

As it turns out, most of us are social media pawns in search of a platform to bare our souls for the sake of validation.

Bonnie Tubbs
By Bonnie Tubbs, ITWeb telecoms editor.
Johannesburg, 23 Apr 2014

The other day, I stumbled upon an online service that uses social media analytics to rank users according to their online influence.

A social media Like is different to "like" in the real sense of the word - in fact, it does not even have to come from a place of fondness.

Apparently, on a scale of one to 100, the average social networker reaches 40 - I scored a dismal 10. But my substandard score wasn't the thing that bothered me the most. The fact that I cared, did.

Despite countless studies showing a correlation between the use of social media and narcissism, I never really counted myself as a part of the generation famously dubbed "Generation Me" by professor of psychology Jean Twenge, eight years ago.

Somehow I thought that type of self-indulgent behaviour was reserved for celebrities - notably those displaying symptoms of "selfie syndrome" like Miley Cyrus, Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton and Justin Bieber.

The realisation that I was disturbed by my deficient online clout, coupled with the fact that I have been known to take the occasional selfie - and shamelessly post it online for friends and strangers alike to see - affirms that I was wrong.

Social media guide

That said, there is no turning back now, so I decided to do a little research, familiarise myself with some of the social networking lingo being bandied about nowadays and put together my own narcissist's guide to social media. This is what I learnt:

Selfie: Named word of the year by Oxford Dictionaries last year, this digital era English entrant was seemingly conceived over a decade ago. It basically involves the act of taking a photograph of yourself (and others, optional) with a digital device (usually a smartphone), taking special care to make sure you look way better than you do in real life (Photoshop and Instagram come in handy here), but without the same care to exclude potentially embarrassing or incriminating background objects.

Status update: A textual social media post informing the followers and friends who are dying to know what you are thinking or feeling at a particular moment in time, what you are thinking or feeling (or both). This should preferably be something - whether written by yourself or someone else (accreditation not required) that makes you appear intelligent, witty and deep. It's like a selfie - only in words - and does not necessarily have to be an accurate representation of your actual IQ.

Friend: Invented by Mark Zuckerberg in 2004, this term denotes a fellow social network user you are associated with (however remotely) that forms part of your online list of connections (the more, the better). The level of "friendship" can range from people you see every day (whether you want to or not) to those you have been out of contact with long enough to not remember who they are. Sometimes, neither. A large part of their purpose is to make it look like you have a lot of real life friends. And to share your pics, thoughts and feelings with (in the hope the favour is reciprocated with a like, comment or share), lest your beauty and wisdom go unnoticed.

Follower: Invented by the #awesomefoursome Noah Glass, Evan Williams, Jack Dorsey and Biz Stone in 2006, this term does not have a religious connotation - at least, not in the strict sense. Like a friend, a follower is a fellow social media user who has an insatiable desire to know what you have to say. Unlike a friend, however, a follower is only interested in digesting pearls of wisdom of 140 characters or less. Again, there are different kinds of followers, holding different associations - but their purpose is largely to bestow recognition and validation.

Hashtag: A word or unspaced phrase that accompanies a social media post (not required to be grammatically correct or necessarily even make sense) that tags the originator's line of thought. It is generally created on the premise that your flock of followers will pick up on your sentiment and make a trend of it. Apparently, hashtags are not confined to textual online posts. A gesticulation of crossing the index and middle fingers of each hand perpendicularly before verbalising a key word or phrase, works too.

Like: Another Zuckerberg invention, a Like is just a click of the mouse, and a quick and easy way of showing a friend you care - without the hassle of a written explanation. A social media Like is different to "like" in the real sense of the word - in fact, it does not even have to come from a place of fondness. Invariably, your friend doesn't really care where it comes from. And nor would you.

Share