In my sleep, I dream of how to spend my ill-gotten millions. The house on the Vaal - or wherever it is that the affluent spend their time nowadays. I dream of lazing around on a lilo in a heated pool, of minions to do my bidding.
Generally, I wake up around this point. And, lately, with some concern over my stash. Not the vast amount of loot that I could inherit/win/`earn` from my inbox, but rather the bit that is left over every month after various financial institutions have taken their ever-increasing share.
So, with warnings of Internet fraud ringing in my ears, I logged onto www.fnb.co.za and bought a digitag. Actually, I bought two, because it was round about this time the bank had a problem with the online banking service and the first transaction didn`t show up in my account.
The terms and conditions state the courier company will call first and that I must be present - in person - with my ID to sign for delivery. So, off to Cape Town I go, figuring the courier company will call first, as it surely cannot expect anyone to sit at their desk for 10 days.
On my return to Johannesburg, after a harrowing flight, broken luggage and other travel woes, I find a parcel on my desk. Yup - the digitag. Signed for by someone else.
A bit irate
I get home and follow the instructions, which direct me to log onto www.ebucks.com and go to a page that does not exist. So, I call the eBucks hotline and push numbers until I get through to a voice recording of a person, who informs me that all the real people have gone home.
With warnings of Internet fraud ringing in my ears, I logged onto www.fnb.co.za and bought a digitag.
Nicola Mawson
A bit irate, I log onto First National Bank`s site, retrieve the call centre number, and am told, by a rather prissy call centre person, that, as my tag apparently arrived this morning, it`ll take 24 hours to activate. Then, after waiting, I must go to page whatever and choose option something else, which will allow me to activate the digitag.
Pointing out that the digitag arrived on my desk, where I found it on the day I called her, did not elicit the shock and horror I expected. Instead, she said the courier company was informed not to do this, thus - I assume - waiving the bank of any liability. I also ask her, now for the second time, to cancel the second erroneous order. I have now cancelled the second - paid for - order four times, if you include sending it back with the courier company.
(As an aside, I had asked our front desk NOT to sign for anything for me, after the first incident. Courier man arrives and tells our receptionist that it is OK for her to sign.)
It`s now about a week after the first tag arrived, and I have given up trying to activate it. I cannot be bothered to listen to "please wait, your call is important to us" anymore. Instead, I`m just going to hide my money under my bed.
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