The personal touch

I don`t like banks much. I see them as large, evil empires that leech off of my hard-earned cash for their own nefarious schemes. Having all of my money to invest while I`m not using it is not enough for these guys - they still feel the need to charge me for all transactions going through their institutions. If my financial director would agree to it, I would be quite happy to receive my salary in cash and keep it in my wallet.

[VIDEO]It`s not like the banks are struggling to keep their heads above water. Those that return from the upper floors of the big banking institutions bring tales of carpets you could swim through, fat leather chairs that those of slimmer build have been known to disappear in, and sightings of original Dalis and Monets (money, it seems, can`t buy taste).

When the banks try to justify increases in rates, I am reminded of the pleas from Microsoft to stop pirating software. If it`s such a big burden on Microsoft`s finances, how can all those Microsoft employees afford their Porsches?

Since I live in a society that forces an unwanted service - banking - on us, I figured I had better choose the best bank I could. After flitting through various banks in my youth, I eventually latched onto Absa. I didn`t choose it because its cards were cooler, or because it offered the best rates or interest. I chose Absa because of the two women who bravely man the little Absa branch in Parkhurst - Moira and Mary.

Personalised service and a relationship with a bank is the only thing that makes banking bearable.

Jason Norwood-Young, Technology Editor, ITWeb

This branch is so small that, when I asked for my bank card to be sent to Absa Parkhurst, Absa told me the branch didn`t exist. When one of the tellers fell ill, the branch closed until she recovered. It is compressed between Caf'e Espresso and the Laundromat on Fourth Avenue, and has been there since the dawn of time, as far as I can tell. When I walk in, Mary and Moira greet me by name, ask me how my mother and my girlfriend are, and somehow have an in-depth knowledge of my life through the grapevine of information that their clients provide.

If I need a cheque cleared instantly, they do it. In fact, I haven`t had to wait for a cheque clearance period since I joined. If I need a stop order organised, they process it in about a minute. When I occasionally draw thousands of rand cash, they give it to me instantly. They know me, and they trust me. I bank with them purely because they offer me personalised service.

This whole e-business drive that Absa and its competitors are now on promises to deliver personalised service to its clients. I think this is a fine idea - personalised service and a relationship with a bank is the only thing that makes banking bearable.

Dealing with a nameless, faceless organisation is dehumanising and humiliating. It is difficult to dictate the service levels that you require if you are not a millionaire, and when the bank falls short of your expectations, tackling the matter is as fruitful as informing your nearest brick wall that you are unhappy with their service.

For me to believe in personalised service delivered by e-business, I would want to see an equivalent level of trust, respect and service from every branch of Absa in the country - not just Mary and Moira`s small outpost in Parkhurst. More importantly, I would like to feel that personal touch from more than the front lines of banking - I would like the entire institution from the top down to treat me in a similar manner.

Late last year, an Absa employee called me and told me that, according to their records, I was just the kind of guy who should get an Absa credit card. So off I went to absa.co.za, and I submitted my application for said card. I was refused the card due to no credit history, which left me wondering, firstly, why the promotional chap had bothered to phone me to offer me a service I couldn`t get, and secondly, why he wasn`t able to organise a card while I was on the phone to him. These disparate levels of treatment from a single organisation always leave my head spinning.

I often get the feeling bank management feels it is doing me a favour by taking my money. In reality, my contribution helps pay their salaries at the end of the day. My money helps carpet their managerial offices, and pays for their cars, their homes, and their children`s education. In return for this, I don`t think that a bit of a personal touch is too much to ask for.