Disaster recovery gets personal

Afraid of being buried alive? No problem. Ask to be buried with your cellphone. If you regain consciousness to find yourself a little "boxed in" you can place the emergency call of your life and enlist someone`s help to free you from a premature grave.

Sounds good in theory, but there are a number of considerations that would seem to militate against the success of this approach, such as reception, power and air supply.

Realistically speaking, reception would most likely be a bit of a problem six feet under. If road tunnels and bridges present a challenge to reception, imagine what a casket and a pile of dirt would do. Then there`s also the issue of the battery life. Finding out your cellphone battery is the only dead thing in your coffin could be quite distressing.

Finding an effective solution to the potential problem would mean having to get real about the limitations of cellular and battery technology.

According to international trend-spotting think-tank director Martin Raymond, the first cases of people asking to be buried with their cellphone originated in Cape Town, where people believe they may be buried by mistake after falling asleep under a witchcraft spell.

If road tunnels and bridges present a challenge to reception, imagine what a casket and a pile of dirt would do.

Warwick Ashford, portals managing editor

Although this sounds like the stuff of urban myth, Raymond says the practice has now spread to a number of countries, including Ireland, Australia, Ghana and the US. It would seem SA has the dubious distinction of setting a new world trend in burial practices.

Apparently one local burial service is offering to put some spare batteries in the coffin, but then there`s the question of oxygen supply. No matter how many backup batteries you may arrange, you will probably run out of air, which means you will be dead much sooner than the batteries.

From its local witchcraft-associated origins, Raymond says the concept has evolved in other parts of the world into something that has more to do with affluence than anything else.

He says people in Australia want to be buried with things they feel represent their lifestyle, such as cellphones, BlackBerry devices and laptop computers.

Now if that`s not an invitation to grave robbers with the potential for sparking a whole new form of trade in second-hand electronic equipment, I don`t know what is.

Raymond says an increasing number of people around the world are embracing the idea of being buried with the things they feel defined them while they were alive.

Is it a sign that modern society is becoming too attached to technology or is technology becoming too entrenched in our lives that people are now starting to see digital devices as extensions of themselves?

Even though it`s a bit unrealistic in terms of technical challenges, I can see the logic of wanting to be buried with a cellphone just in case it was a mistake, but I can`t imagine how anyone would feel that a cellphone or any similar device could define them as a person.

I find it even more challenging to understand why anyone would want to be cremated along with his or her cellphone. Surely this is taking an attachment to digital devices a little too far?

Raymond says this trend was first discovered in the US state of South Carolina, where a cellphone in a suit pocket caused an explosion in a crematorium when the battery got too hot. To avoid such unwanted explosions, some funeral companies in the US are now undertaking to add the dearly departed`s phone to the box of ashes after the cremation.

Time to get real about the situation. While the idea of being defined in any way by some bit of technology is difficult to grasp, being buried alive is a possibility and therefore remains a good business opportunity. Technical challenges can always be overcome.

Even if one does not believe in witchcraft, a host of B-grade movies made in the past few decades provides evidence that there are a multitude of reasons one could end up in this tight situation.

In the light of this reasoning, the only logical thing to do would be to rush off and design the ultimate disaster recovery and backup coffin solution.

I wonder how difficult it would be to build and market coffins designed with integrated water and oxygen supply, low level lighting, and a cellphone with battery charger connected to gravestone-mounted solar panel and aerial for improved subterranean reception.

Excuse me while I jot down a business plan and fill in a patent application.