Imitation is out, innovation is in

Ask people about the innovation that has made their lives easier, and sooner or later they`re likely to prognosticate wildly and sometimes a little worryingly about what constitutes real progress.

This column is dedicated to the noble quest for a bleeding-edge that cuts to the chase and solves actual problems.

Teleportation, that`s the thing, said someone in my office. She didn`t specify whether you`d be de- and re-materialised in the process, but personally, I`d like to see numerous animal trials first.

We`d have to iron out, let`s see, every problem known to the security world, but if people want it enough, it should be possible.

Carel Alberts, Technology editor, ITWeb

Not that I believe animals are subordinate to our increasingly whimsical desires, but it stands to reason that a stone trial will tell you nothing. And it beats the hell out of mobile data advances and government incentives for companies to enable a virtual workplace.

But what am I thinking? The city of London is solving its congestion problems in ways that any IT innovator would rather not hear about, involving photographing registration numbers, and inputting the data into - oh, it doesn`t bear thinking about.

Someone else in my office said a buzzer in car seats that administered electrical shocks judiciously to bad drivers would be a really good idea. On the other hand, I`ve heard of Zimbabwe taxis driven down here with no seats and the driver sitting on a can, so it can be circumvented. Afrika is nie vir sissies nie, as you may have heard, and 'n boer maak 'n plan, so any enterprising taxi owner (not that they`re the only bad drivers) will probably receive only peer accolades for ripping the offending gear out and selling it to people who have a use for such things.

Mind you, this reminds me of the "Ripley`s Believe It Or Not" segment I saw in which an enterprising South African security firm came up with a flamethrower for cars - activated when, obviously, the vehicle is being stolen. Ingenious, but probably not very nice, and illegal besides.

No doubt inspired by the Cell C ad, another colleague says ultrasound technology, database advances and pervasive networking could be put to far better use than the current implementations.

Cop cars should have scanners that check whether taxi components are roadworthy enough to let them pass. Any less than, say, 30% roadworthy components, and the car is disabled and locks the driver in with sliding plexiglass plates, but lets the passengers out. The percentage is based on what can realistically be expected to represent average roadworthy components on our roads, and the plexiglass has a hole on the driver`s side, through which he can ask passers-by for food in case the police don`t come.

Since Idols watchers could register their votes via SMS, the same should be possible with voter registration and voting, says one colleague. Now this makes a whole lot of sense to me. We`d have to iron out, let`s see, every problem known to the security world, but if people want it enough, it should be possible.

Of course, anyone who voted for an Idol will be tracked with CRM software and declared ineligible to vote in a general election, whether they`re over the voting age or not.

Here`s a really serious one, but we`ll let it pass, since it is one of my frustrations: Brainstorm believes it would be awesome if we have a digital (it has to be digital) voice recorder, integrated with voice recognition software and text conversion application, not just for the person who trained the software, but every voice in every language in the book.

Indeed. I imagine going to a security conference, putting a Bluetooth microphone in front of the speaker (would I leave my tablet PC out in the open at a security conference?), kicking back and listening to the soothing tones. The XP in my tablet, safely ensconced in my bag, would pick up that it`s Greek, that the speaker speaks naturally and_not_in_measured_tones, nor in any discernible punctuation marks or with weird voice commands like "undo that", it would transcribe it, ask me whether I need to e-mail and generally make my life a lot easier.

If you come up with any innovation ideas of your own, let me know. Vendors are listening.