Playing nicely with others

Mention black economic empowerment in a social setting and the discussion is likely to get heated.

Why is it that an initiative designed to rectify the injustices of the past and put all of our country's people on an equal footing, has instead created more of a racial divide?

Like my own parents, I am bringing up my children to consider only the person and not his or her appearance, background or cultural affiliations.

For my two-year-old son, this is not a problem - like me, he is gregarious and willing to play with just about anyone who has cars to share. My four-year-old daughter, on the other hand, is increasingly aware of her surroundings and understands there are groups of children at her school who feel she doesn't fit in.

If we are to conquer poverty, crime and discrimination, we must all be invited to participate in the party that is SA's future.

Kimberly Guest, senior journalist

It's no surprise that people get along easiest with others who have common ground. However, when it comes to those that differ, we are quick to shut down and judge.

Take for instance an article ITWeb published earlier this week on the National Empowerment Fund's disposal of its interests in MTN. The organisation has chosen to sell its 1.5% MTN shareholding to black individuals and investment groups, at a 20% discount.

To me that's great. Nevertheless, the first comment on the story was by a white male, aged 35, who called the move "racism in reverse". Ouch. Then again, his comments echo the sentiments of many white South Africans and so are worth exploring further.

Is this man a racist? Is he against the correction of past ills? Does he want to return to the "good ole days" of apartheid? While I wouldn't deem to comment on this particular person's motivations, my general experiences suggest he would probably answer "no" to all of these questions.

You see, like my little girl, those who are quick to shout discrimination are often most afraid of being left out of the party. It's not that they want to take someone else's place, they just want to know that they can come too.

Having grown up in a white skin, I also can't profess to know what my previously disadvantaged compatriots feel about the situation.

Nevertheless, I would like to believe that for most it is a case of creating opportunities where there were never any before, rather than punishing those who, with their pale faces, symbolise the people who created and enforced past oppression.

The one thing I do know is that taking the time to understand another (different) person's point of view makes me a better person.

To my mind, this is what we in SA need most - tolerance, understanding and embracing of each other. If we are to conquer poverty, crime and discrimination, we must all be invited to participate in the party that is SA's future. And once at the party, we must step out of our comfort zone and spend some time getting to know the people around us.

I'm still working on this concept with my daughter. When her birthday comes around again I'm hoping she will want every one of her classmates to join in the festivities. If not, we'll invite them anyway - no one deserves to be left out in the cold.