Revenge is bitter-sweet

I can understand road rage. I have, on a couple of occasions, been driven close to the point of apoplexy by the behaviour of BMW and taxi drivers alike. I have even, in a moment of particular foolhardiness, climbed out of my car to go and tackle the ignoramus Volvo driver (perhaps it`s all luxury cars) who should have had his licence suspended for the study in stupidity that he was exercising on the road.

However, instead of issuing him with the string of colourful expletives about his various bodily parts that he so rightfully deserved, I came over all prissy and managed only to hiss out: "You are a reprehensible human being." As you can imagine, he was hardly chastened. And I felt pretty silly. So I have resolved to stay in my car and holler 'til I`m blue in the face at passing offenders rather than humiliate myself again.

The one thing that I have learnt from my bouts of road rage is that as sweet as fantasising about revenge might be, revenge itself seldom lives up to the hype. We love tales of revenge, but seldom pause to consider the reality behind the satisfying stories that get bandied about. We`ve all heard about the rotten pilchard hidden in the upholstery of the rich schmuck`s Porsche, or the mustard seeds planted and lovingly watered in the Persian rug of the philandering ex-boyfriend while he was on holiday.

But what about the resulting ruined rug? Persian rugs are works of art, containing thousands of intricate knots, possibly even the work of crippled children - to ruin that is sacrilegious. I`m not one to get passionate about cars, but stinking up a priceless model does seem a bit of a travesty. And then there`s always the possibility that given a couple of days to cool down, the perpetrators of these acts of vandalism aren`t feeling nearly as venomous as they did at the outset. Granted, the mustard seed lady had to return to water her crop every other day for two weeks, so she probably had a bit of time to reconsider, but more often than not, anger subsides.

The one thing that I have learnt from my bouts of road rage is that as sweet as fantasising about revenge might be, revenge itself seldom lives up to the hype.

Georgina Guedes, editor, ITWeb Brainstorm

This week, the UK courts passed a ruling against a young man who had discovered that his girlfriend had been cheating on him by getting his friends at her service provider, O2, to pass on her SMSs to him (this atrocity is perhaps deserving of a column all on its own). He then hacked her Friends Reunited profile, and replaced her picture with a much raunchier alternative. He also set up a site with videos of the two of them having sex (has Paris Hilton taught us nothing?) and directed her friends to it.

The poor guy, who said he was very sorry, has been sentenced to five years in prison. The girlfriend has been humiliated. No one wins. What I really want to know is whether the young man`s ire, which had no doubt subsided by the time the case got to court, is being given fresh fodder with each bowel of gruel that he, clothed in ill-fitting overalls, consumes daily for breakfast.