Spoilt by choice

I like to think I'm a guy's kind of girl. I can be ready to leave in five minutes; I understand the offside rule in rugby; and have been known to hold an uncouth joke or two in my repertoire.

I've also picked up the inability to gracefully accept illness.

Which is where I found myself this week. Down with bronchitis, weak, irritable and, quite frankly, a pain to be around. However, under strict instructions from both boss and doctor not to go to work until today, I decided to make the most of my enforced leave.

So the first few hours in bed are not that bad, especially if you are sleeping. Soon enough, however, you wake up to the realisation that you are bored. Really bored.

Not a problem; I whipped out my cellphone and called my friends for some sympathy. They unfortunately were working, so an hour later I was back to being bored.

Then I remembered I'd been added to DSTV's mobile-TV trials. Pulling out my Samsung P910, I settled under the covers, caught up with international news and a few music videos.

It didn't take me long to realise that I would have a better "viewing experience" if I relocated to the lounge and watched the same things on our for-review-purposes LG Time Machine. This 42-inch LCD beauty really improved my viewing; nevertheless, it didn't improve my viewing options.

Bruce Springsteen said it best with his song "57 channels (and nothing on)". Today, DSTV has about 149 channels - ok a lot less, but I really couldn't be bothered to go back and count the actual channels - but after an hour or so of surfing, the best option I could find was Judge Hatchett on SABC 2.

For those not able to check out daytime-TV, here's a pr'ecis: America's racially-representative version of Judge Judy; ie: trailer trash get their day in court for your entertainment.

Just because I was physically tied to the house, didn't mean I couldn't venture out into the world via the Internet.

Kimberly Guest, senior journalist, ITWeb

Then I spied my laptop. Just because I was physically tied to the house, didn't mean I couldn't venture out into the world via the Internet.

First, I instant-messaged with my mom, but she was busy at work. Then I did some video communication with my sister in Cairo. But she was on her way to the swimming pool with my nephews, so that was that.

I explored Facebook, My Digital Life, Second Life, YouTube and even the rapidly declining MySpace. At least now I can say I get what the hype is all about. Personally though, I like to be able to reach out and check the person I am "interacting" with still has a pulse.

In a fit of girlyness, I checked out the blog sites that carry all the celebrity news. Saw Paris Hilton exiting prison, *yawn*, Lindsay Lohan trying to stay sober on her 21^st birthday, *sigh*, and read all about the Spice Girls getting back together, *cringe*. But that was enough punishment.

Then my husband got me onto World of Warcraft. This online gaming portal very nearly provided me the respite I so desperately needed from my all-encompassing boredom. In fact, I had just got to level two with my rather gorgeous-looking night elf when the site went down for regular maintenance. *Screech*

Tossing aside everything that bleeped, blipped, flashed or connected, I turned to my first entertainment love: a good book.

Before I knew it, two hours had passed and my husband and kids had arrived home. At last I was not home alone. Except, I really wanted to be - I was sure I knew who the murderer was and I needed to see if I was right.

For the rest of my recuperation period I bonded with real paper and ink and was hardly ever bored. But does this mean I have no more space for gadgets, gizmos and technology-driven channels?

Not at all. I see myself years from now on my deathbed ordering and paying for my books over the Internet. When my eyes fail, perhaps one of my nephews can read to me from wherever in the world he happens to be. And if I feel like something a little racier, I'll download the audio version instead.

And as another of my favourite writers said: "All's well that ends well." Thank you William Shakespeare, I couldn't have said it better.