Springtime for Reuben

Congratulations to Reuben September
For his promotion and pay rise
That finally came in November
Hope he lasts longer than Papi
Who got the boot in April, remember?
If you maintain the monopoly
You may keep your job through December

Hey, is this sounding like a cheap rhyme?
That`s 'cause I`m not much of a poet
But I`m sick of inflation and crime
By the way, Reuben
Where`s my goddamn ADSL line?
I`ve been waiting and waiting
For what feels like the longest time.

ICASA councillor Marcia Socikwa this week had a whinge about industry not trusting the regulator with information that the body supposedly needs "to bring certainty to the market".

I would venture to say that, perhaps, industry does not trust ICASA to bring certainty to the market, period. OK, so maybe that`s a bit cynical, but then industry has repeatedly compared ICASA to a toothless, spineless chicken.

Socikwa lamented the fact that often companies want confidentiality clauses on almost every bit of information supplied, and demand to know just where in the law it is stipulated they must supply this information.

Shame, it`s a tough life. However, Marcia should look at it from industry`s point of view. Companies are expected to hand over confidential and sensitive information to an organisation that is reportedly in bed with Telkom. Furthermore, ICASA`s notorious inability to hang on to staff means that any Tom, Dick or Harry could leave ICASA at any point and take a stack of confidential info to his new private sector employer.

Of course, there is also the danger that, while studiously poring over reams of top-secret papers, Paris Mashile could become sleepy and catch one of those widely-reported naps of his. Anyone could sneak in then and steal the stuff...

And on the point of ICASA, Gateway Communications CEO Peter Gbedemah raised the point that the local regulatory environment is difficult to grasp and says the country has missed out on a big development opportunity by not liberalising the telecommunications sector earlier.

Well, that`s because ICASA does not have access to top-secret information, Peter. It`s really your own fault, you know.

By the way, ICASA seems to have its own difficulty grasping regulatory issues. I mean who can make sense of all these scary changes, and who can untangle all the submarine cables that are snaking their away around our coastline?

I think I`d rather just take a nap, thank you.

MNP, while a sound concept, is certainly no match for the mighty complacency of the South African consumer.

Martin Czernowalow, news editor, ITWeb

A year down the line and the South African consumer is still engaging in some twisted form of sadomasochism when it comes to cellphone providers and contracts.

The Mobility 2007 survey reveals mobile number portability (MNP) has been somewhat of a much ado about nothing, really. Strange that, if you consider that after Jacob Zuma and the national rugby team, mobile services seem to be the biggest gripe among South Africans.

Yet, the study shows that porting proportions between 2006 and 2007 remain similar, with 10% of respondents stating they would port in 2007. Guess you could say people aren`t exactly flocking to port.

MNP, while a sound concept, is certainly no match for the mighty complacency of the South African consumer.

Communication Users Association of SA (CUASA) spokesman Ray Webber called MNP "a damp squib".

Then he sobbed: "In a way it`s a pity, because CUASA thought it would give consumers options, and in the end there is so little difference between the operators, people decide they might as well not port."

What can I say? Bah!