When no means NO!

I don't think I can express clearly enough how glad I am not to be on the dating scene. No more awkward first dates, no more sitting through the matchmaking efforts of well-intentioned friends and no more fighting off the advances of single-minded men (or women) who see the word "no" as an invitation to step up their pursuit.

Like some of my single friends, Yahoo chairman Roy Bostock and CEO Jerry Yang would probably love to be able to flash a serious piece of relationship jewellery at insatiable suitor, Microsoft. Especially as their rebukes appear to have no calming effect on the international software vendor.

Even worse, Microsoft is threatening to directly lobby those investors, who could take the decision on whether Yahoo should submit to Microsoft's offer to purchase, out of the hands of Yahoo's board.

Microsoft's first serious offer to Yahoo came at the beginning of February and its approach reveals the company must have expected a rejection.

Instead of approaching the vulnerable maiden and quietly offering to buy her a drink, the brute sidled up to the bar, threw up a hand and shouted, for all to hear: "Barman, I'll have another round and the same for the little lady."

Of course, in this day and age it's not an uncommon acquisition tactic. Worried a company's board is more interested in doing its own thing than going along with your plan? Well, make your offer in the public space.

Occasionally, this tactic works. Eager to cash in on a premium offer and see immediate returns, shareholders will sometimes force the company to put the bid out to vote.

Yahoo's board, however, politely declined the drink - after considering all its benefits of course - and continued with its business.

Microsoft remained undeterred and in a move reminiscent of a Mills and Boon romance novel, the hulking paramour last week again issued a public offer for the company.

Kimberly Guest, senior journalist, ITWeb

Microsoft remained undeterred and in a move reminiscent of a Mills and Boon romance novel, the hulking paramour last week again issued a public offer for the company. This time, with some threats included.

In an open letter to Yahoo's board, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer ignored the rejection and instead scolded the company's directors for dragging their feet.

"While there has been some limited interaction between management of our two companies, there has been no meaningful negotiation to conclude an agreement. This is despite the fact that our proposal is the only alternative put forward that offers your shareholders full and fair value for their shares, gives every shareholder a vote on the future of the company, and enhances choice for content creators, advertisers, and consumers," he said.

Ballmer gave Yahoo's board three weeks to conclude the proposed agreement, or risk seeing a proxy contest initiated to elect an alternative slate of directors.

Moreover, seeing as the initial approach envisioned a "friendly" joining of hands, Ballmer said Microsoft would have to reduce its offer if this transaction had to be completed the hostile route.

Within days, Yahoo's Bostock and Yang responded to Ballmer's missive. They noted Yahoo had received its earlier offer and reminded Microsoft that this had been rejected, publicly, on 11 February, as it did not reflect the fair value of the company.

This view had not changed, they said. Additionally, shareholders representing a significant portion of Yahoo's shares had echoed this view, despite statements in Microsoft's letter to the contrary.

"In conclusion, please allow us to restate our position, so there can be no confusion. We are open to all alternatives that maximise stockholder value. To be clear, this includes a transaction with Microsoft if it represents a price that fully recognises the value of Yahoo... We are steadfast in our commitment to choosing a path that maximises stockholder value and we will not allow you or anyone else to acquire the company for anything less than its full value," they said.

Will this be enough to get Microsoft off Yahoo's back? Personally, I doubt it; three weeks from now we will see Ballmer's threat put into action and Yahoo shareholders will make the decision.

So perhaps it wasn't worth being all polite in the responding letter. In fact, if I remember correctly, the only way to deal with pesky paramours is to be brutally frank.

I would have suggested:

Dear Steve,
P*ss off!!!
Love,
Yahoo