You can't choose family

I sometimes wonder what those who died in the fight for SA's freedom think about how we are treating our hard-fought-for democracy. Do they pass an eye over our, most times, passive society and question whether it was all worth it?

Take for instance my left-leaning sister-in-law.

At a cosy family lunch over the weekend she told me she was glad I wrote under my maiden name. Why? Because she was - and still is - concerned that the old guard would take my criticism of black economic empowerment implementation as a reason to throw up their hands at the "non-functioning" policy and not do anything about it.

To my mind, a strong democracy depends on the commitment of the people to actively participate in the continual improvement of the environment. This means questioning the status quo must be encouraged and not frowned upon, with criticism as welcomed as compliments.

To demonstrate my beliefs, let me take you through the saga of my laptop.

A strong democracy depends on the commitment of the people to actively participate in the continual improvement of the environment.

Kimberly Guest, senior journalist, ITWeb

Eighteen months ago, I decided to take the leap and upgrade my house-bound desktop PC to a laptop. And for the first few months I was really happy.

Then reality set in.

It turns out that my particular laptop was made either on a Monday - when everyone was hungover from the weekend; or a Friday - when the assemblers were distracted by thoughts of the upcoming weekend. (Whichever way, I can assure you I will not be spending money on this particular brand ever again.)

The unreliability of this, now essential, piece of hardware, has resulted in me mumbling the message from Microsoft's blue screen of death in my sleep. My knowledge of "colourful" words and phrases is increasing on a daily and sometimes hourly basis. And this piece of trash has, on several occasions, come remarkably close to learning how to fly... out the window.

On one hand, I could be grateful that I have the means to purchase such a luxury item and keep my frustrations to myself. On the other, I could demand that the products I invest in actually work.

I choose to demand more. (And once I have the budget, I'll go out and buy a replacement that offers me just that.)

So, while my sister-in-law had little say on my entry into her brother's - and, therefore, family's - life; she does have a right to try and improve the family environment.

Although I was initially taken aback by her remarks regarding the use of her family name, I have come to realise that it may just improve our understanding and respect of each other.

You see, we both have a tendency to be bleeding heart liberals, with our focus placed squarely on the end goal of freedom, equality and opportunity for all. Our ideas on how we get there, however, differ. But perhaps establishing a mutually agreeable path could turn out to be better than either of our thoughts were before.

A friend once said to me you can't change your circumstances, you can only change your reactions to them.

In family that's true; in all else, I say why not try both?