Communications minister Siphiwe Nyanda's choice of not one, but two, of the most blinged out models of BMW cars has almost all the bells and whistles one could wish for, for a person of his stature, but I was wondering - what about the connectivity?
The retired general now has at his disposal in Pretoria and Cape Town two of the top-of-the-line BMW 7-series cars, each worth R1.135 million. And, say his spokespeople, this is in accordance with government guidelines.
According to the specification sheet for the cars, the good minister has decided on R148 400 worth of extras, including, in the Pretoria-based vehicle, a R23 400 "rear-seat entertainment system” and a R5 600 "high-gloss satin chrome" paint job.
It also includes an “Innovations Package” totalling R35 000 that has a rear view camera, ceramic surround for controls, ambient interior lighting, adaptive headlights, high beam assist, lane departure warning, and lane change warning.
Off course, a car of this expense has a cellphone kit included as standard. This, according to the manufacturer, has a Bluetooth connection with connections for recharging and an external aerial, and a separately available snap-in adapter that can be operated by the car's “iDrive” system.
What does not seem to have been selected by the classy buyers at the Ministry of Communications are the optional extended connection for the mobile music player, or the BMW Online system that allows Internet access, or TV function.
And this is all the pity, because, as the point man for our country's communications policy development, I would expect the general to have the most kick-ass connectivity system possible in his cars. What better way to set an example of what is possible and achievable?
Somehow this whole issue, as trivial as it may seem, appears to be a case of real life imitating art, or should I say, advertising.
Tin-pot dictator
Remember the Vodacom ads from last year about the tin-pot dictator laughing away as he points out that his country does not need broadband, because “We have been having it”?
According to that dictator, in a uniform that seems to be a parody of the SA Army kit, his country has no need to obtain entertainment or e-mail or any other broadband services, as these already exist there. He says this as an out of tune band plays in the background and a very nervous looking runner prepares to depart with an envelope in a cleft stick.
What does not seem to have been selected by the classy buyers at the Ministry of Communications are the optional extended connection for the mobile music player, or the BMW Online system that allows Internet access, or TV function.
Paul Vecchiatto, Cape Town correspondent
In another case of reality imitating the ridiculous, last year I sat in the audience at a telecommunications conference where the representative of Zimbabwe Telecoms proudly told us that his country had overcome the lack of infrastructure investment through the “ingenious use of indigenous technology”.
“Because we cannot roll out more landlines, we have now invented the 'party line' where many people can use the same telephone connection to make calls,” he said.
No one in the audience had the temerity to point out that the “party line” idea had left telecoms about 50 years ago. On the other hand, knowing the speaker was from Zimbabwe, the idea of “party line” had some other connotations too.
5.2 seconds
I suppose our general doesn't need Internet connectivity or mobile TV, because his entertainment and information needs are already well pandered to. Unfortunately, it is because of his predecessor's policies that the vast majority of the population has spotty and expensive connectivity - and they are the people who need cheap, affordable and reliable communications in order to prosper economically.
The economic importance of having a sound telecommunications industry and the spin-off industries it develops is vitally important to the country, especially if it wishes to remain globally competitive.
When Nyanda took office two months ago, there was an initial sense of optimism that things would move swiftly, but they haven't. For instance, where is the new director-general for the department? What happened to the TV migration awareness campaigns? What about resourcing ICASA properly?
Yes, I know the minister has to still put his boots on as far as getting to know the ICT sector, but he had better show some speed that is at least as fast as the 5.2 seconds it takes his new cars to hit 100km/h, because “we have been having it” with the current situation.
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