Take a moment to think back to the communication interactions you have had in the past couple of days. Have you found yourself saying "In other words..." and "That is not what I meant..." more often than you would want to? Do you feel that you struggle to get your point across or that you are frequently misunderstood?
The idea of saying what you mean and meaning what you say is important when we communicate in a business environment.
Jill Hamlyn, MD, The People Business
Everybody has moments when they battle to communicate their ideas effectively, or when they are simply at a loss for appropriate words demanded by the occasion. More people than would care to admit it are literally petrified when they have to make a presentation or speak in front of an audience.
However, communication in the technological age is not solely confined to face-to-face interaction. E-mail, the short message service (SMS) and voice mail have taken communication methods to a level above and beyond face-to-face communication and the humble engaged signal.
Communication is vital in all aspects of our lives, and it is an accepted truth that if you can get your communication right, you can get almost everything else right. I have identified empathy as a key e-ideal in communication.
Interaction
The theory of communication states that at the most basic level there are three components inherent in any interaction that takes place, namely the person who sends the message, the message itself, and the person who receives the message. Having identified these three components in their book "Love, Power and Meaning," the authors Holloway, Byrne and Titlestad argue that no interaction can be understood separate from the context in which it occurs.
The sender and the receiver also bring their own personal backgrounds into the equation. It is therefore no surprise that without an understanding of our respective positions, communication can become scrambled. The idea of saying what you mean and meaning what you say is important when we communicate in a business environment. As far as possible, logic should be substituted for emotion.
Empathy in communication also suggests that at the same time as keeping our stance in mind, we need to listen to people on a conscious and unconscious level. The idea of what somebody is not saying is as important as what they are saying and they way in which they are saying it.
We cannot always put ourselves into the other person`s shoes, but empathic listening allows us to focus completely on the message, where it is coming from, the context in which it occurs and the impact it could possibly have. It allows us to see the bigger picture where we would otherwise focus on and react to details that may not have anything to do with what is trying to be put across.
Empathic speaking allows us to concentrate on the core of the message, taking where we are coming from into account. Identifying the receiver`s position also gives us the freedom to put our point across succinctly without extraneous variables that may detract from the overall picture.
Technology has meant that our communication techniques have to be flexible enough to fit into a wide range of situations. Letters have been subsumed by the faster, more efficient electronic version. The SMS has necessitated the creation of a new, brief code. Voice mail messages exhort you to "leave a message after the beep..." In this arena, in addition to empathy, an important e-ideal is etiquette.
In the past, there were rigid and clear-cut rules of etiquette that under no circumstances should be breached. As the world becomes less formal, some of these rules have fallen by the wayside or been subsumed by others. In electronic communication, we no longer speak of etiquette. Rather, the term "netiquette" has been coined.
Etiquette
E-mail in the workplace is a fast and effective way to get your message across, but the phrasing of the content sometimes has to be done in a careful way in order to avoid alienating the recipient. It should go without saying that spelling should be perfect and that the tone of the message should be modulated according to who is going to receive the message.
Some people balk at the thought of leaving a voice mail message. Modern etiquette states that the message you leave should be short and to the point including all salient information such as your name, telephone number and the reason for your call. Do not be afraid to speak up clearly and confidently even if you do not feel terribly confident at the time - it is a source of frustration to receive a mumbled name or telephone number.
Ideally, SMSs should be left as communication between friends.
The third e-ideal in communication is empowerment. In my experience as a professional business coach, people who can communicate effectively are empowered in their relationships with others, whether in a business or personal environment. Effective communication is not beyond the reach of everyone. Many of the techniques of proficient communication can be learned and as awareness is increased so communication becomes easier. Communication training is often the key to unlocking mixed messages and facilitating efficient communication in the workplace.
Humankind is remarkable in its ability to adapt to situations presented to us. Where there appears to be no way to convey what we want to say, we often resort to ingenious and inventive methods. Where there is no language in common, there are pictures and gestures.
From messages in bottles to drumming to smoke signals, we have been able to overcome a variety of obstacles. Now that methods of communication are easier than ever, empathy and etiquette are two ways in which to empower yourself. Communicate effectively and your interactions will assume richness and diversity.
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