The morning spam cleanout has become a game of one-upmanship in our office. It`s one way to cope with the deluge and still maintain an even temper.
Multiple lottery winning notices take top prize, with several of us excited to note we`ve won up to three each on a given day.
We especially like the way the penis enlargement spam reaches the women and the breast enlargement stuff goes to the men.
Rodney Weidemann, Journalist, ITWeb
Those who`ve been overlooked in the daily lottery announcements often find some consolation in the fact they`ve inherited a fortune from an unknown relative. Or been specially selected to guard the Abacha family fortunes for a while.
Congratulations are made all round, and we generally agree to relax all day and wait for the money to roll in.
Second prize goes to the hundreds of e-mail offers for products to make some body parts bigger, some bits smaller, and other bits work better.
The more outrageous the subject line, the better. We especially like the way the penis enlargement spam reaches the women and the breast enlargement stuff goes to the men. CRM for dissatisfied partners in action, perhaps?
Then there`s the range of anti-S#P*A^M product offers with subject lines disguised by symbols to get them through our existing spam filters. Very cute, we think.
It is always a source of great mirth when one of us receives a message with a subject line that reads: "Are you tired of s*p*a*m*?" The standard reply being something along the lines of: "Well, I am now that you`ve been so kind as to send me some!"
At least we know that we`ll be able to afford all these wonderful offers that are sent our way, because there are always mails arriving that tell us there are people who can help us to eliminate the huge pile of bills we have.
And then we have those incredible offers that state: "Find out what women want." Speaking as someone who has had an opportunity to take a look behind the sisters` so-called curtain, the last thing I`d want to do is find out what they want - I just know I`d regret it.
Of course, there are times when these adverts can lead to serious office counselling sessions. Like strangers who apparently hold "private photos" of us and those who can help people spy on their partners. Those instances where you are not only bombarded by e-mails pointing out how "the patch" can increase your member`s size by 50%, but also by numerous mails detailing cures for erectile dysfunction, are enough to give us all complexes about our sexual performance.
There have been occasions where colleagues have required the kind of therapy that only a strong cup of coffee and a cigarette can provide.
It`s enough to freak-out any normal, sane person. Still, at least I know that if it really gets that bad, I can always get Valium really, really cheap - I know, the offer arrived in my inbox today.
(With additional input from Tracy Burrows.)
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