On 24 May, Santa Barbara City College student Elliot Rodger went on a killing spree. He was seeking retribution for years of sexual rejection at the hands of women he described as spoiled, stuck-up, blonde sluts who made him feel inferior. He documented his disdain for women in a series of YouTube videos and even wrote a 114-page emotionally-charged manifesto detailing how all of his suffering had been at the hands of humanity, women in particular.
On that day, Rodger killed six people before turning a gun on himself.
The incident birthed the #Yesallwomen hashtag on Twitter, which serves to highlight the violence - be it extreme or more subtle - that threatens women around the globe on a daily basis. The number of tweets with the hashtag swiftly surpassed the one million mark, as women recounted their experiences of being chastised and belittled after reporting sexual assault, of buying rape whistles and pepper spray before they go to college, or their fears of having their drinks spiked.
Walking down Kloof Street on Election Day, I encountered a young man doing a survey about the voting process. As a Masters student who understands how difficult it can be to get people to participate in your research, I decided to give this chap a moment of my time. What ensued was several minutes of him quizzing me about performing sexual favours on local politicians and enquiring how many men I would be willing to sleep with in order to secure the vote for women, assuming we weren't able to vote, of course. And then he asked the final humdinger - if I could be described with any single word, would I want that word to be "skank"? A few weeks later, I had a charming fellow regale me with the tales of an S&M-style contraption that women are strapped into and pushed down the street for the enjoyment of onlookers. Can you say sexual assault? Perhaps I should rethink where I am hanging out.
I know that the behaviour of these individuals, aside from making them questionable human beings, is not a marker of the greater male population, but I did walk away from both rather unpleasant encounters thinking the cheeky questionnaire or sexual objectification apparatus are symptomatic of a society that preys on the vulnerabilities of the female population.
I am sure there are some of you who will click away assuming this is just another feminist tirade awash with women's liberation rhetoric, but given the current state of global gender-based violence, against both men and women, I think this is a conversation that needs to be had.
Allow me to elaborate.
We live in a world where a woman is raped every couple of seconds - who could forget the atrocity of the gang rape that occurred in Delhi in 2012, or the brutal assault and murder of Western Cape teen Anene Booysen. A world where women are executed for marrying someone outside of their religion because of the shame it brings on their families, or where Pakistani school pupil Malala Yousafzai is shot in the face by the Taliban for petitioning for female education. And where over 250 Nigerian school girls are abducted by terrorist group Boko Haram to be married off to the highest bidder or sold into slavery.
Does the man who just shouted some profanity about my butt really think I am going to stop and commend him on his astute understanding of the art of flirting?
All this considered, do you not think there is something awry in society? I realise these are exceptional situations but they are not fictitious. They are happening, today, not 50 years ago. Yes, in a day and age of mobile computing, near-ubiquitous Internet connectivity and driverless cars, women are still being kidnapped, raped and stoned to death. And a woman cannot walk down the street or into a bar without being groped, gawked at or subjected to offensive cat calls. Does the man who just shouted some profanity about my butt really think that I am going to stop and commend him on his astute understanding of the art of flirting and impeccable grasp of the English language and enquire if he would like to procreate?
In her shoes
In a Buzzfeed video titled "What It's Like To Be A Woman At Night", six women discuss the insecurities they experience being a woman alone at night. The video participants explain how they wear running shoes instead of heels so they can make a speedy escape should someone attack them, or detail how they feel inclined to carry some sort of weapon in case they need to defend themselves; describing their constant anxiety in these situations as debilitating. What these testimonies and the #Yesallwomen tweets amount to is a society where women live in fear.
Are men subjected to this kind of fear and abuse? Sure. Take Elliot Rodger - a troubled young man who spent much of his life feeling inadequate and being bullied by his peers. Yes, changes are being made to improve the interplay between men and women in society and to counteract gender inequality. Just look at the likes of Virginia Rometty, Sheryl Sandberg, Susan Wojcicki and Marissa Meyer - all of whom are at the top of some of the biggest tech companies in the world. But are these strides being made in the boardroom enough?
If there was something wrong with a range of smartphones, the manufacturer would duly apologise and recall the faulty products. If a series of rugby injuries occurred because of a certain scrumming technique, there would be an enquiry and the rules of the game would be amended to ensure the players were kept safe.
But responses to patriarchal attitudes and sexism are often brushed aside as overreactions. Why is it that if I as a woman make a comment about chauvinism or gender equality, I am labelled a raving feminist? Why is it that if I want to earn as much as a man but still be treated like a lady, I am deemed a lunatic? Why is it that if I find misogyny and rape jokes offensive and comment on how this sentiment perpetuates gender-based violence and a lack of respect for woman in general, people call me prudish or uptight? Because until society acknowledges this situation is a real problem, it's a man's world and we as women are just living in it.
* A former ITWeb journalist, Joanne Carew now resides in the Mother City, where she is admiring the mountain and completing her Masters studies at UCT.
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