The thing about buying a second-hand car privately is that there is a lot of trust involved. There are - admittedly - quite a few con artists out there. Which is why it`s perfectly understandable that the seller would like the cash in his grubby paws before releasing the car to me.
This is not a problem, think I. Actually, it`s rather more complicated than that.
As the payout from the insurance company has not yet made its appearance known in my account - and time is running out before the rent-a-car has to go back - I opt to bridge the finance out of the bond.
And this is where it starts getting a little bit complicated.
The only account that can receive money from the bond is hubby`s. So, I log into his account and transfer the cash to him and on to the seller.
I then call the seller and inform him. He, in turn, calls his bank to see if this is so, because - if it is - I can take possession of the car.
So, stuck in the middle, I ask how long it will take for the cash to reappear from the black hole it seems to have disappeared into.
Nicola Mawson
His bank, Absa, cannot confirm this. Mine - FNB - tells me that all monies transferred to Absa go into a suspense account and then get redistributed, a process that takes about three days. So, calling Absa and giving the bank all the details should elicit a confirmation.
Not so, says my seller.
So, I call Absa. It does not have a suspense account. So, where is the money? It`s on the magtape, says the call centre agent. At this point I have visions of little one rand coins dancing along some or other magnetic tape.
So, can you confirm the transfer? Nope, I`m told. "I have no idea where it is," she says, suggesting I call FNB. And therein lies the rub, I can`t. I cannot pretend to call FNB as my husband to check where this rather sizable chunk of cash is. And, neither can hubby as it`s Yom Kippur.
So, stuck in the middle, I ask how long it will take for the cash to reappear from the black hole it seems to have disappeared into. Between three and five days, is the answer.
At which point, I comment that I could have drawn a bank cheque and walked to the gentleman in question faster. Ironically, she agrees. So much for the Internet age.
And, like a typical journalist, I ask why this takes so long. She says it`s because the cash in question must move between banks. Now, the last time I paid for a vehicle - the fated VR6 - that too was between banks. From FNB to RMB, which - although the same family - are different banks, ergo the different acronyms. And that took all of five minutes to go through.
So, I carry on blindly trying to elicit some sense. Who, I say, gets the interest?
The poor Absa call centre person neatly sidesteps that one. "I have no idea who gets the interest."
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